<![CDATA[TOP NOTCH WELLNESS - Blog]]>Tue, 21 Apr 2026 05:52:47 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[ADAPT & Joy: A Path from Hopelessness to Action — and to Laying Down the Burden]]>Mon, 16 Mar 2026 20:25:34 GMThttp://www.topnotchwellness.com/blog/adapt-joy-transforming-hopelessness-into-action​Recently I came across an acronym shared by creator Shauhin Davari that is both inspiring and actionable, and has helped me rethink my relationship with anxiety and hopelessness. It’s called ADAPT, and it offers a pathway from paralysis to purposeful action.

I last wrote about the power of naming our emotions and recognizing my own feeling of hopelessness. Now we’re three weeks into a war that violates both U.S. constitutional law and international law. Like many, I’ve been wrestling with dread, disappointment, and a constant pull to consume more news. Limiting my media intake helps keep me grounded, but the uncertainty and the environmental and human toll surrounding this conflict remains deeply unsettling.

An environment of constant crisis and information overload can leave people feeling powerless, which diminishes engagement. ADAPT gives us a roadmap out of that trap.

 A — Act (because action metabolizes anxiety)
"We are, perhaps, uniquely among the earth's creatures, the worrying animal.” - Lewis Thomas, M.D.

Anxiety often drives doomscrolling. We try to reduce uncertainty by seeking more information, but instead we often absorb more fear, stress, and helplessness. The first A invites us to shift the cue: instead of letting anxiety trigger scrolling, let it trigger action.

One small action is enough:
  • Send an email or make one phone call to your elected officials.
  • Donate to independent journalism or a humanitarian project.
  • Look for a small volunteer opportunity in your neighborhood.

And there are actions that can help stabilize our stress at home, too:
  • Return to simple routines and rituals – preparing meals, gratitude and prayer, chores, a few pages of reading, sensory anchors, daily walks, sunlight, social connection.
  • Use grounding techniques: slow breathing, stretching, physical stillness. Anything that reconnects you to your body and the present moment.

These small actions steady the nervous system and interrupt the spiral.

And perhaps another A that I can add to kick this off is Acceptance. This is a tough one for me. Perhaps I resist acceptance because it feels like giving up or agreeing with what’s happening. But acceptance is not endorsement. It simply means: “This is the reality of the world right now, and resisting that reality is draining me.” Acceptance softens the internal fight so we can respond with steadiness rather than panic.
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D — Disrupt the Doom
Doom drains us.  

I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit lamenting global events. Awareness matters, but we do not need to suffer constantly to care deeply — and no movement benefits from our exhaustion.

 Disrupting doom might look like:
  • Gently redirecting conversations that spiral into despair: “I hear you — want to take action with me?”
  • Replacing one hour of doomscrolling with one real-world action.
  • Taking a broader perspective that helps us hold suffering  without being trapped by it.

Anger, fear, and anxiety are valid emotions. Let’s continue to name them while refusing to live inside them all day.

 A — Align Your Focus
We cannot carry every issue equally. Trying guarantees burnout. Let's instead choose of one area to focus on. It could be community activism, supporting independent journalism, environmental efforts, supporting humanitarian aid, combating disinformation, or simply cultivating more peace at home.

As Shauhin notes, wallowing feels like engagement because we’re emotionally activated, but it’s not strategic action. Alignment is.

P — Participate Locally
What’s one step you can take close to home?

Participation doesn’t have to mean running for office (though it can). It can also be volunteering, attending community meetings, supporting local campaigns, or joining organizations that strengthen your neighborhood.

Local action is where change is most accessible — and most deeply felt. And participation builds trust, creates connection, and supports democracy.

T — Together (because hostility weakens us)
“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him.” — Abraham Lincoln.

Political hostility weakens our democracy and sadly its rampant. None of us is perfectly informed or perfectly aligned. Progress depends on extending patience and compassion outward. Instead of turning on each other, we can focus our energy on the broader forces shaping our lives and find common ground in our shared desire for safety, dignity, and stability.

May we choose tolerance.
May we choose respect.
May we remember we are stronger together.

Finally, Shauhin reminds us to to protect our joy.
Joy is not weakness. Joy buffers stress, benefits our health, reconnects us to purpose, and gives us the energy needed to continue fighting for change,

As Viktor Frankl wrote, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude.” Choosing to feel joy, gratitude, and wonder become a means of keeping our spirit intact—an act of resistance against the forces that aim to erode our humanity.

So let’s dance, laugh, create art, visit with friends, go outside and touch the real world — so we can navigate these difficult times  with strength and perspective. 

And let’s continue naming our emotions while using this ADAPT acronym to shift our cues from anxiety to action — toward peace, connection, and joy.

What's one real-world action you can take today to disrupt the doom? For me, maintaining community, staying active, increasing my monthly KQED donation, and getting ready to plant a recession garden are giving me hope.

Finally, I’ve been sitting with an insight from a wonderfully trippy and wholesome podcast I’ve been exploring — one that invites us to lay that burden down. Why do we, as individuals, feel responsible for solving the world’s problems? These are impossibly heavy loads to carry alone .The hosts suggest that sometimes we hold on to the burden because it keeps us from feeling what truly needs to be felt.

As poet David Whyte writes: “Come here now, into the arms of the waiting world. Put down that heavy burden you have carried for so long, and rest from the hard, everyday labor of not hurting, or not feeling, or not hearing, or not saying, or not seeing. Stop keeping the tears at bay. Give it all up. Just come home.” 
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It’s a gentle reminder that we don’t have to hold everything — and we were never meant to.
]]><![CDATA[The hidden power of naming what hurts & rekindling hope]]>Sun, 22 Feb 2026 18:09:29 GMThttp://www.topnotchwellness.com/blog/the-hidden-power-of-naming-what-hurtsI consciously limit my time on social media, but over the past few months it feels almost impossible to log in without being hit with something heavy — violence, injustice, corruption, or simply more evidence of how broken things feel in the world.
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I last wrote about our need to seek out the good and curate our feeds for positivity, yet even with those intentions it’s been a struggle. And despite all my usual self‑care efforts I’ve still found myself in a funk. Less patient with my kids, more tired and unmotivated, and forgetting to savor the small things. And I’ve been hard on myself too. It’s humbling to feel stuck when you’re someone who understands the science behind “taking in the good.”

Last week, though, my husband shared a post that helped me finally name what I think's been simmering beneath the surface amid the heaviness of the world: hopelessness. And naming it has been surprisingly powerful — I’ve felt lighter, almost freed, ever since.

As Dr. Dan Siegel teaches, “name it to tame it.” Labeling our emotions reduces their intensity. And shifting from “I am” to “I feel” — “I am anxious” to “I feel anxious” — creates space, reminding us that emotions are experiences we have, not identities we are.

And there’s neuroscience behind it: verbalizing or writing down feelings (aka affect labeling) activates our rational prefrontal cortex and calms our emotional amygdala, the brain's fear center. Naming emotions allows our thinking brain to re-engage, gain perspective, and choose a healthier response.

Of course, this skill depends on a few things: emotional vocabulary, self‑awareness, and a healthy physiological state.

On emotional vocabulary: did you know on average, adults in the U.S. can only identify and accurately label three emotions - happiness, sadness, and anger? In her book Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown maps 87 distinct emotions, which we need for better emotional granularity. The more specific we can be about what we’re feeling, the better we become at regulating those emotions. 

And around our physical state: we all know how easy it is to be overcome by emotions or lose control when we’re sleep‑deprived, hungry, stressed, or lonely.  The fundamentals always matter — nutrition, sleep, movement, and connection. Emotional regulation is deeply tied to our physical health.

And when it comes to hopelessness, self‑compassion is another cornerstone. As I’ve written before, self-compassion promotes emotional resilience and regulation by fostering kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Self-compassion combats negative thinking patterns that can lead to hopelessness and boosts motivation for change.

I’m still working to shift from self‑criticism to practicing Dr. Kristin Neff’s self‑compassion break, taking a moment to pause and acknowledge the difficulty by saying:
  • This is a moment of suffering.
  • Suffering is a part of life.
  • May I be kind to myself.

So what do we do with this hopelessness? In a timely newsletter from leading workplace well-being expert Jen Fisher titled “Let's Talk About Hopelessness”, she reinforces the power of naming our hopelessness and the problems we create when pretending we feel otherwise. She also reminds us that hope is a skill, not an emotion. As she writes, “Hope is what you do, not what you feel. It’s the actions you take even when—especially when—optimism feels out of reach.” 

And perhaps the most important reminder she offers is that connection matters. We have to find our people - the ones who haven’t given up hope. And we need to open up and be willing to name the hard things. Strong social ties are a critical factor for our mental and physical health and are also associated with higher civic engagement, helping transforming hopeless in to collective action.

Regulating and naming our emotions is a practice. Hopelessness may still visit, but it can’t take over when we can name it. surround ourselves with people who help us carry it (thank you Albert), and take action. And as Maria Popova shared, we need to remember that there is much goodness in the world and that evil only prevails when we mistake it for the norm. So let’s keep showing up for our well-being, for one another, and with small actions that strengthen the fair, safe, and humane world most of us long for. 

In my next post, I'll share some small actions of hope that we can take. Until then, if you’re in a season of heaviness I hope you know you’re not alone. I’m right here with you, naming it, tending to it, and taking the next small, hopeful step. 

What is one small act of hope you can take today?
]]><![CDATA[On love, connection, and kindness]]>Tue, 10 Feb 2026 02:25:38 GMThttp://www.topnotchwellness.com/blog/on-love-connection-and-kindnessA few truths I've been holding onto:
  1. Love is an act of courage and resistance.
  2. The antidote to authoritarianism is connection.
  3. Our acts of kindness and generosity, online or offline, have a ripple effect.
 
Here's why:
This year has already brought an overwhelming amount of violence and distressing global events - and it’s only February. This constant stream of troubling news can take a real toll on our emotional well‑being.
 
Chronic exposure to violence, whether direct or through media, activates our “fight, flight, or freeze” response. When the brain perceives the world as dangerous, it redirects energy toward survival — leaving less capacity for patience, empathy, and generosity. Chronic exposure to distressing events can also lead to compassion fatigue, where we feel numb or detached from the suffering of others.
 
And it’s by design. Staying informed matters, but we need to remember that because news outlets are designed to maximize our attention for profit, they often emphasize negative and sensational events. Without intentionally balancing what we consume, this constant exposure can distort our view of reality, heighten anxiety, and chip away at our sense of trust.
 
So how can we break the cycle?

Setting healthy boundaries around media consumption is one place to start. I’ve personally set timers for my social media apps and am trying to make it a habit to reach for a book — not my phone — in moments of boredom.

We've also got to intentionally seek out the good.  Curating our social media and entertainment can genuinely support emotional well‑being. Seeing stories of kindness has been shown to counteract the negative effects of consuming bad news. So let's seek out uplifting content, ask your friends or coworkers about their bright spots or what’s been bringing them joy, and practice random acts of kindness.​

Staying connected to supportive communities, family, and friends is next. It’s essential, but it also takes real effort – which may help explain why more than half of Americans identify as lonely and nearly three in five say no one truly knows them. Staying indoors won’t solve this. We have to push ourselves out of our comfort zones — so join that book club, take that fitness class, show up to your employer’s wellness events, and invite people over. Small acts of reaching out can create the connection we’re all craving — and remind us that the world is less frightening, and far more human, than it appears online.
 
And speaking of inviting people over...according to The Atlantic, America is in a party deficit. In a time when we’re so hungry for connection and community we have to be the ones who open the door and invite people in. And as Priya Parker reminds us, gatherings become meaningful when they have a clear purpose — when we’re intentional about why we’re bringing people together and what we hope the experience will create.
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For me, that purpose has been creativity.  Making something with your hands  — a card, a collage, a mobile, or my newest intrigue: neurographic art — is a powerful and accessible tool for managing anxiety, reducing stress, and connecting to the present moment. It provides a sense of agency in this chaotic world and is a great reason to gather. For the past two years, I’ve been hosting art parties — crafting DIY holiday gifts and, most recently, Valentines. Hosting these gatherings takes work (and requires childcare!), but for me, it’s been a way to honor my values and share light.
 
As Bad Bunny reminded us at the Super Bowl, “the only thing more powerful than hate is love.” Choosing love in a divided world takes courage — and none of us does it perfectly. I certainly don’t, especially as a parent, which is why I often return to Dr. Becky’s “good inside” philosophy and my practice of self-compassion. I also think that courage often begins inward — in treating ourselves with the same kindness we hope to offer the world. When we practice love, kindness, and connection — with ourselves and with others — we invite others to do the same. These are practices. They are choices. And they ripple — exactly what this moment needs.

What about you? What truths have you been holding onto as of late? What helps you stay positive and connected when the world feels overwhelming? What’s a gathering you’ve been craving — and what’s stopping you from initiating it? ​

]]><![CDATA[On seeking the light]]>Mon, 05 Jan 2026 22:02:30 GMThttp://www.topnotchwellness.com/blog/on-seeking-the-lightInspired by the winter holidays I’ve been reflecting on light—a symbol woven through religious traditions, winter celebrations, and the solstice. Across cultures, light represents hope, renewal, knowledge, truth, and life. It invites us to gather, celebrate, and remember, and can guide us toward deeper spiritual awareness and connection.

As we orbit the sun nature offers its own daily light shows: the sunrise can spark hope and motivation, while a golden sunset can evoke peace and gratitude. Both offer magical moments of awe that call us to presence and mindfulness.

And within light lies a full spectrum of color. When shined through a prism or refracted by clouds after rain, light’s full beauty is revealed as a rainbow. This awe-inspiring phenomenon connects us to life’s magic and reminds me that, like light, we hold a spectrum of experiences, emotions, and traits often hidden from view.

Beyond its symbolism, light also shapes our emotional and physical well-being. It regulates sleep cycles, influences hormones, and affects alertness and focus. Even specific colors can shift our mood and energy.

As we settle into the new year, I’m embracing this theme of light.  My intention is to seek and spread light through mindfulness, gratitude, compassion, patience, hope, and acts of kindness. I’ll also nurture my well-being with light by spending time in nature, prioritizing sleep, reducing evening screen time, and using color intentionally.

As I seek the light, I know that I’ll become a better source of light for my family, friends, colleagues, and community. And on the days I fall short I’ll shine that same light inward with grace and self-compassion.

What might it look like for you to seek and share light today—even in a small way?

"If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light." - Rumi
]]><![CDATA[Attuning to awe]]>Sun, 30 Nov 2025 05:49:06 GMThttp://www.topnotchwellness.com/blog/so-lets-become-awe-seekersAwe is that feeling when we encounter something so wondrous, vast, inspiring, or mind-blowing that it shifts our perspective and deepens our appreciation of life. And it's all around us, waiting to be discovered – in nature, collective experiences, and big ideas.

Recent moments of awe have brought me back to this space – this blog that I created to help others and, in the process, help myself. From feeding a majestic white horse, to reading an inspiring newsletter (shared below), meditating with my son* at the state park, beholding sunlight filtering through the clouds, watching a hummingbird sip from our leaking hose, hiking on a trail veiled in fog, and being mesmerized by a guitarist at our local farmers market…all fairly small moments, but taking time to savor these everyday wonders has been an easy way to become more attuned to joy and gratitude in my daily life.

So…what have been some recent moments of awe for you?

In the words of Raph Waldo Emerson, awe repairs. And research backs this up: awe can ease stress and anxiety, lower inflammation, boost mood and cognitive function, enhance creativity, and even support heart health. It shifts our focus outward, reminding us we’re part of something larger—nurturing kindness, generosity, and a sense of community. All qualities desperately needed in this era of division and incivility.

So let’s become awe-seekers. Let’s slow down and notice. Let’s engage our senses and seek out nature, the arts, and collective effervescence. Let’s unplug, open up, reframe the ordinary, and reflect on our experiences through journaling or discussion with others. I believe that experiencing awe can make the world a better place. And it’s waiting for us, if we choose to look. 
Love Against Probability
By Maria Popova

You wouldn’t have bet on it, this battered rock orbiting a star from the discount bin of the universe, you wouldn’t have bet that it would bloom mitochondria and music, that it would mushroom mountains and minds, and the hummingbird wing whirring a hundred times faster than your eye can blink, and your eye that took 500 million years from trilobite to telescope, and the unhurried orange lichen growing on the black boulder two hundred times more slowly than the continental plates beneath are drifting apart, and the marbled orca carrying her dead calf the length of the continent, carrying the weight of consciousness, and consciousness, how it windows this tenement of breath and bone with wonder, how it hovers over everything, gigantic and unnecessary, like love.

It is all so improbable, this wild and wondrous world, against all we know about the universe. And yet here it is, and here we are, set on it to know that we are dying and live anyway, and love anyway.

Our most beautiful, most transformative, most vivifying experiences and encounters are like that — they enter our lives through the back door of expectation, shattering the laws of probability with the golden gavel of the possible.
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*we’ve been enjoying the Calm App together, which is free for all KP members!
]]><![CDATA[Mental fortitude and equanimity during times of uncertainty and change]]>Sun, 26 Jan 2025 20:04:05 GMThttp://www.topnotchwellness.com/blog/mental-fortitude-and-equanimity-during-times-of-uncertainty-and-changeIn place of New Years resolutions, I have focused on personal intentions or mantras to be my guide. Having a phrase or word to aspire to has helped ground me and guide my actions and thoughts toward that desired way of being. The past two years my mantras have been grace and self-compassion, and during difficult moments I can’t describe how helpful it was to take a breath and fall into those words to reset my actions and self-talk.  

As we witness the devastation from the fires in Southern California, accept the new political administration, and navigate other conflicts both internal and external, I have been feeling the need to focus on mental fortitude and equanimity.

Mental fortitude is a term my amazing husband introduced to me during a conversation where my head was spinning with the difficulties near and far, real and projected. Like fortifying the walls of a castle, think of fortifying the walls of your mind…it’s the psychological strength to persevere through challenges or when facing uncertainty without letting anxiety or negativity overwhelm you.

Just like with physical fitness, developing mental strength and fortitude is within our control. And like fitness it’s not a one-time effort, but something we work at on a regular basis -- cultivating healthy habits, coping strategies, and positive thinking patterns in the face of adversity. 

Equanimity is a state of calm and even mindedness during difficulty or stress and is considered a key virtue in Eastern religious traditions, especially Buddhism, where it is cultivated through mindfulness practices. Essentially, it means being able to observe experiences without being overly reactive or attached to them.  It's not apathy or indifference, but moving beyond the "good vs. bad" mindset by accepting all experiences with a neutral perspective - letting things be as they are, right now, without judgement or trying to control what happens next. With equanimity, we can develop a more spacious relationship with our experiences and navigate life's challenges with balance and grace.

When I think of mental fortitude and equanimity some actions that come to mind include:
  • Checking in and acknowledging your physical and mental state without judgement. Too often we push through persistent stress and stuff down our emotions. Taking time each day to slow down to assess how we’re feeling is a form of mindfulness and lets us take action in alignment with our values. Brene Brown’s book Atlas of the Heart offers an emotional vocabulary, which can help us identify, work with, and regulate our emotions.
  • Finding numerous small moments for mindfulness during the day. Let’s be empowered by the fact that mindfulness is not limited to formal meditation. Journaling, practicing gratitude, yoga, and bringing conscious awareness to everyday tasks are great opportunities for us to build our mindfulness muscle. Apps like Calm (which KP members get at no cost!) help too! Among its many benefits, mindfulness helps us gain distance from our thoughts and emotions, which seems essential during this time. Neuroimaging research also shows that mindfulness can decrease activity in brain regions associated with negative self-evaluation. 
  • Take time for self-care, whatever that means to you. Prioritize it by planning for it. Choose things that really fill your cup and have faith that even small moments of joy can make a tremendous impact. Involve people in your life to ensure you can carve out this time.
  • Reach out to others and stay connected with your support network. Loneliness is all to prevalent in today’s world and research shows that social support can help increase positive emotions, reduce stress, and alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression.
  • Build small moments of accomplishment each week. Research suggests strong links between achievement and our mental state; completing even the most basic of goals and tasks can boost our mood and well-being. And for a double whammy, honor the actions taken for self-care, caring for a loved one, writing a card, or volunteering, which also increase our sense of purpose.
  • Maintain your physical well-being, including adequate sleep, loading up on foods that support our mental health, and taking time for physical activity, which helps reduce stress and improves mood.
  • Challenge negative and nihilistic self-talk. Observe thoughts and emotions without judgment and track which type of negative thinking patterns repeat. With awareness and non-attachment, we can challenge our unhelpful thought patterns and start to replace them with healthier, more constructive thoughts. Lean into self-compassion, crack a joke, and invite a trusted friend or therapist in for guidance and reassurance.
  • Finally, enjoy social media mindfully. It can be a source of entertainment and connection, but can also increase our anxiety. Track usage and set boundaries, turn off notifications, and actively choose to engage with content that brings positive emotions rather than mindlessly scrolling through negativity. W

This is a loaded list in support of mental fortitude and equanimity, and I am hopeful that when facing difficulty this year I will take any one of the above actions to connect me to these two mantras of mine. With mental fortitude and equanimity I believe we can better handle whatever comes our way with calm, confidence, and grace.
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Sending you all loving kindness and compassion from the beautiful trails that support my well-being.
]]><![CDATA[Olympic Game Inspiration]]>Thu, 08 Aug 2024 14:39:49 GMThttp://www.topnotchwellness.com/blog/olympic-game-inspiration Watching the Olympic Games has been such an emotional ride! After Albert and I get the kids asleep (which can sometimes feel like an Olympic sport itself!), I’ll sometimes catch replays on YouTube and relish in the waves of awe, anticipation, and elevation. I’ve cried tears of joy at their wins, winced at their losses, and have enjoyed feeling this tangible sense of our shared humanity. Seeing athletes from every race, ethnicity, language, religion, and gender come together as individuals and teams to perform at the highest level, set new records, and celebrate one another reminds me that we come from one human race.

If you’re like me and have fallen out of your fitness routine, perhaps you’ve also felt a bit intimidated or even envious watching these athletes compete. Doing backflips, throwing the shot-put, or sprinting track like Sha'Carri Richardson may not be in my future, but watching these athletes compete reminds me that we are born to move and have such potential!

Whether you’ve been off your fitness game for months, years, or even decades its never too late to start moving again, make progress, and enjoying the many benefits being active provides along the way. Just like Adam Grant’s recent tweet about Simone Bile’s triumphant comeback, we can’t judge people’s strength when they fall. Our strength is visible when we rise again.

Whether it’s your physical or mental fitness that needs a reboot, our bodies and brains have an outstanding ability to bounce back. And it doesn’t take much movement to reap the benefits! Even a short brisk walk can improve mood, boost mental health, and much more, especially if you combine multiple short bouts throughout the day. And as a self-proclaimed employee engagement nerd, short walking breaks throughout the day can also help combat mental fatigue and improve creativity and problem-solving.

Beyond walking, I am a huge advocate for strength training and this year’s Olympic Games has inspired me to reinvigorate that part of my fitness routine as well. As we age, strength straining is even more essential – helping us maintain muscle mass, improve bone density, boost metabolism, and decrease risk of injury. And as with walking, something is always better than nothing.

With a full-time job and busy family life making it to the gym for my favorite BodyPump class isn’t always feasible, but doing a few kettle bell moves or body weight exercises in the middle of my work day, in the backyard while the kids are playing, or while watching TV once they’re asleep is. Having an accountability buddy doesn’t hurt either. I regularly ask for encouragement and support from Albert since I know regular physical activity makes me a better person and Mom.

So, let’s rise up like Simone. It might not be an Olympic win, but moving more today than you did yesterday is a small win that deserves celebrating. And it will set up the trajectory for more movement in the future. For good health, exercise is not optional; it is essential. Humans have evolved to exercise, and each day is a new opportunity to manifest that part of our shared humanity.
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See you on the trails!
]]><![CDATA[Joy & revealed preferences]]>Mon, 03 Jun 2024 03:41:34 GMThttp://www.topnotchwellness.com/blog/joy-revealed-preferencesAre your actions leading you to joy? It seems like a selfish question to ask as we navigate the stress and frustration of international conflict and struggles in our own personal lives, but joy matters.

Since reading Ingrid Lee’s book Joyful, I have learned that joy is a state of mind that can be found even in times of grief or uncertainty. Choosing a colorful outfit, redecorating a physical space, hula-hooping, pouring coffee into your favorite mug, planning a celebration…the tiniest joyful gestures add up over time and can provide long-lasting health benefits. 

In her most recent Aesthetics of Joy newsletter, Lee wrote about revealed preferences – an economic theory stating that our behavior reveals our true preferences. It’s a topic that I resonate with today and back in 2018 when I wrote We Are What We Do in our Spare Time.
 
From Lee:
What preferences do your daily actions reveal? You might avoid the things you say you want to do out of fear, or inertia, or because you're unsure of how to start. But regardless, getting curious about these revealed preferences can help us close the gap between the life we dream of and the one we have.
 
Another way to look at it: If an anthropologist analyzed a log of how you spend your time each day, what would they conclude is important to you? Does that match what you believe is most important? If not, you've just uncovered a golden opportunity to create more alignment with your values and your joy.
 
Her inviting us to get curious is powerful advice. So often we judge ourselves for our behaviors or bad moods, but that doesn’t help us figure out what’s going on. Taking time to reflect on our preferences and values is the path to experiencing more joy.
 
This past Sunday, in my sacred few hours of weekend child care (thank you grandparents!), I considered coming home to relax and finish a half watched movie or show, but instead I hit the trails. And I am so glad I did.  Time spent immersed in the elements, sounds, scents, and beauty of nature is restorative. And in our tech-dominated lives, spending time in the outdoors gives our eyes a much-needed break from our constant focus on screens (another area of preference I am trying to be mindful of). 

Beyond the health benefits, today’s run helped me connect to joy - something we all have a preference toward, but sometimes lack the energy to seek. Fortunately, Ingrid Lee shares some great tools to find your joy in her Joyful Toolkit! Starting a Joy Journal is one activity I highly recommend,  tracking the moments when you smile or laugh, when you’re tempted to say “Yay!” or “Wow,” or even just when you become aware of a subtle, pleasant feeling. Let me know if you give it a try!

Forever and always I am grateful for the many small joys. Thanks for joining me on the journey!
 
P.S. For more joy inspiration, check out this video with Matthew McConaughey (thanks for sharing sis!). Beyond him being a joy to watch, his insight on joy as a process is quite poignant.
]]><![CDATA[Joy, growth, and grace for 2024]]>Sat, 30 Dec 2023 21:35:02 GMThttp://www.topnotchwellness.com/blog/joy-growth-and-grace-for-2024Through life’s challenges, I am grateful for the many small moments of joy and beauty. Adventuring outdoors, observing nature, creating art, playing with children, exercising, listening to music, wearing bright clothes (dopamine dressing anyone?), reading, laughing, loving, eating….even on the days where we feel powerless amid the world’s troubles, joy is available to us all. And studies show that these small moments can reduce stress, strengthen our immune system, improve mood, and even help us live longer. Enjoy the little things – it’s a mantra on my gallery wall that I am grateful to be reminded of.

As I embark on a new year I want to focus on and continue to create and seek these small joys. I also want to focus on integrating life’s lessons. And sharing / modeling the process with my children. It is ok that I am an imperfect parent and wife. But it is not ok to live blind to my imperfections. There is power in acknowledging them aloud. As Brene Brown shared, “imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”  Embracing our common humanity heals and is one of the most important elements of self-compassion.

It is also not ok to live in mindless reactivity to my triggers. With awareness we have the power to grow, to change. Through repetition we have can rewire our brains to do most anything. But we have to put in the work – with intentionality and self-awareness. Luckily, it doesn’t take much. According to Dr. Rick Hanson, taking an extra 10-20-30 seconds to savor positive experiences can help hardwire our brains for happiness. Our thoughts impact our feelings and ultimately our behavior. Taking time to focus deeply on our aspirations and the values we want to embody plants small seeds and is an easy way we can bring more light into the world.

Small joys and living a life of growth: those sure seem worthy of my focus and are no doubt a channel towards more love and hope for us all.

This year my focus was Grace. I thought a lot about it early on and what it meant to me. And many times I have returned to that mantra/goal/vision/hope. Practicing and embodying acceptance, kindness, and self-compassion. Giving everyone - including myself - the benefit of the doubt. This is something I plan to carry on into this new year and forevermore.

 May all beings be joyful. May all beings grow. May all beings live in grace.

 May we all pursue a life of joy and growth with grace.
]]><![CDATA[Trail running, podcasts, parenting and writing]]>Wed, 19 Oct 2022 05:00:55 GMThttp://www.topnotchwellness.com/blog/trail-running-podcasts-parenting-and-writingI’ve been getting back into trail running and am feeling great. My first run last month was painful, but since then my muscle memory and self-efficacy has kicked in and I feel fortunate to have such amazing trails nearby. One of my favorites to fit in during my daughter’s nap is a short, challenging loop along the Bay Area Ridge Trail that gives me 35 minutes of switchbacks with views of the Carquinez Strait and Mount Diablo.
 
On my runs I enjoy listening to podcasts and on my playlist as of late have been Adam Grant’s WorkLife and ReThinking. Over the weekend I listened to his interview with Celeste Ng, whose books have been on my to-read list for quite some time. Besides motivating me to place a hold for her first novel at my local library, the podcast illuminated something that I have been reflecting on in my journey as a parent: the power of writing.
 
As Adam shares in this episode, writing is a tool for thinking. "It’s not only a vehicle for communicating ideas, but a tool for crystallizing them". And I couldn’t agree more. Taking time to write and reflect is a powerful tool for personal growth. It can also be calming. When we take time to write, we can keep track of our progress to stay accountable. We can practice gratitude. We can recognize our habits and values, articulate our feelings, and identify who and what we are.
 
As a parent, I am starting to believe that writing is essential. It gives us the emotional release we need while documenting our children's lives. It lets us take in the good while improving our self-awareness as we reflect on our snafus or patterns of reactivity. As Hunter Clarke-Fields shares in her fantastic book, “when we understand why we are so reactive—what old patterns and wounds are being triggered for us—we can begin to heal and choose a different way of being, rather than repeating dysfunctional family patterns”.
 
So that is where I am at right now. Trail running, listening to podcasts, feeling inspired to write and reflect, and breaking generational patterns in parenting. And the important next step as Arthur Brooks shares is to take action with the information we glean through writing. Wish me luck!
 
“Write clear and hard about what hurts” - Ernest Hemingway
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